A Few Things I’ve Learned about NYC

So my 1st anniversary of living in New York City came and went — with me about 3,000 miles away at Oktoberfest in Munich. That, coupled with apartment hunting, a number of family birthdays, and the typical crush of getting out features before the year-end code freeze is why this post is about two months late. 🙂

Now the dust has settled and I’ve had a year to take in my new surroundings. Here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up this last year that may be helpful for NY n00bs:

  • If you are between 5’9″ and 6’1″, you must shield your eyes from pointy umbrella edges at all times when there is even a hint of rain (I learned this the hard way).
  • Manhattan subways are significantly more reliable, efficient, and easy to navigate than those of the Paris, DC, SF, or London systems.
  • Old school NYers still won’t enter Central Park between dusk and dawn.
  • Ordering food is a way of life.
  • You can’t feel guilty about having your laundry picked up, done, and delivered back perfectly folded. But you can complain about the smell of the detergent they use.
  • Manhattan is not impervious to natural disaster (as evidenced by Hurricane Sandy).
  • You can take a cab from the Upper East Side to Chelsea and it’ll only cost you $18.
  • NYers liken Staten Island more to New Jersey than to New York City (Staten Islanders included).
  • Staten Island’s amateur baseball team is called the Staten Island Yankees.
  • NYers swallow the ‘tt’ when they say “Manhattan.”
  • The Upper East Side has wider sidewalks in order to contain all the old people pushing baby carriages while holding large umbrellas in one hand, and multiple dog leashes in the other.
  • Techies are significantly more valuable out here than we are in the Bay Area.
  • NYers “stand on line,” not “wait in line.”
  • Shopping on 5th avenue is for tourists. Or the very, very rich.
  • Hiking trails are surprisingly accessible via public transportation.
  • If you’re going to take getting pushed and shoved personally, don’t get on the subway.
  • Walk with purpose or you’ll constantly be doing that awkward trying-to-pass-each-other-but-not-succeeding-until-the-fifth-feint dance with strangers.

So hopefully the world doesn’t end next month, and I’ll get enjoy another year in Manhattan.

30 Things to Do Before 30

  1. Become really great at something. Your twenties have two purposes: 1) to allow you to apply the knowledge your parents bestowed upon you during your childhood + teenage years, and 2) to take that applied knowledge and see where your natural talent and personal interest intersect. Once you’ve found that intersection, your goal is to focus on it and become freakishly good at it (if at all possible, try to carve a career out of it too). Becoming truly amazing at something in your twenties will cut down on a lot of overhead in your thirties, when you’ll not have the time for such fripperies as surfing during your lunch break or throwing out three batches of homemade brownies just to get one right. For most of us, our thirties will be full of responsibility for others — don’t mistake your twenties for the time to “be a grown up.”
  2. Take a road trip across the U.S. – Whether you shoot across the northern route, meander through the southern track, or take the zigzag approach, you will not be disappointed with the Heartland’s multitude of oddities. Take advantage of the abstraction of time that is your twenties, grab some friends, and hit the road! The Bronze Fonz is not something you’ll regret seeing (and perhaps something one can only truly appreciate pre-30s).
  3. Live alone – That’s right — live alone. Perfectly, utterly, inexorably alone. The first year might be pretty tough, since you’ve likely lived with at least one other person from conception to, well, now, but the moment you discover the virtues of shamelessly walking around naked with a glass of red wine in hand or unselfconsciously leaving your dirty clothes in a corner ’til they’re good and ripe, you’ll wonder how you could ever go back to living with another living soul. Not to mention that after reveling in your own filth for a while, you’ll grow so sick of it that you’ll learn how to “keep a household” in short order.
  4. Get thee to Canada and Mexico – You can’t rightfully crack jokes about our neighbors to the north and south until you’ve actually been there.
  5. Scramble – Scrambling is at least as fun as it sounds, and its ambiguous nature makes it flexible enough to fit your needs (read: abilities). I’ve heard from friends who scramble that there’s a technique: One must ascend a rockface within X amount of moves, thus making it an almost chess-like game of strategy. However, since I can find no documentation of such a technique  via Almighty Google, do with that what you will.
  6. Scuba or sky dive – Do something extreme! Sadly, some people (myself included) are unable to scuba dive due to an inability to equalize 🙁 For those of us who are excluded from the silent ballet that is deep sea aquatic life, let’s do something crazy to (over)compensate, right?! Jumping out of a plane will certainly suffice.
  7. Pay off student loans – Because your thirties will be full of brand new and exciting types of debt (mortgage payments anyone?). Plus, that’s just good business.
  8. Protect your credit with your life – It takes 7-10 years for collections, late payments, and (eep!) bankruptcy to be removed from your credit report. Don’t let a few casually missed credit card payments prevent you from getting everything you want in your thirties.
  9. Learn to sail – There’s something perfectly upperclass about knowing how to sail a scooner. Plus, you never know when you might need to steal awa’ in a sailboat, pirate-style. Ahh, the dichotomy that is sea-life.
  10. Eat at a Michelin star restaurant – It might be tough to swing for most 20-somethings, but if you’re ever in the vicinity of a Michelin star restaurant you simply must make a reservation! Not only is the food amazing, but getting dressed to the nines and sipping delicious wine will prove worth every one of the thousands of pennies you will undoubtedly spend. Still not convinced? Let me put it this way: French chefs have committed suicide as a result of losing a star. Yeah. That’s how hardcore the Guide Michelin is in the food world.
  11. Get published – Blog, newspaper op-ed, The New Yorker – it doesn’t matter. Get your voice out there, so you can remember what you sounded like in your twenties for the rest of your life. Plus, the internet immortalizes you; it’ll be fun for your future kids to look at when they’re all grown up.
  12. Take photos – Immortalize all the best moments of your life through photographs! Put everything in the Cloud and back them up on an external hard drive, so you have no risk of losing them. I went to Prague with a friend a couple years ago and I got pickpocketed — my deepest regret is that the thief took my camera before I could upload my photos. Do be careful what you share publicly though — it could affect not only your professional life, but also your friends’, family’s, and acquaintances’ perception of you (everybody e-stalks on occasion).
  13. Explore another continent – For Americans, it seems the ubiquitous Eurotrip is the obvious choice, but it doesn’t have to be! The world is shrinking at a terrific rate, so take advantage of it! Go somewhere less common — mosey through the Maghreb, travel through the Thailand-Vietnam-Cambodia trifecta, become one with the Balkan states, or trek from St. Petersburg through Siberia to Mongolia. Why? Because it will make you a better person.
  14. Ski/snowboard or surf– Whether the Alps or Lake Tahoe, skiing/snowboarding is both exhilarating and challenging. I recommend you get a friend who knows what they’re doing on the slopes to teach you how to “slip” and turn (who cares if you’re a total Betty?). It’ll save you some cash, and you can buy your beneficent instructor some hot cider later — everybody wins!
  15. Get to know your folks as something other than “your folks” – Your twenties are a magical time for many reasons — those damn hormones finally begin to ebb, you’re finally able to fund your unique (read: weird) passions, and you can eat whatever the hell you want. But one of the oddest and yet most fulfilling things is the change in dynamic between yourself and your parents. You should take the time to get to know them as human beings. Find out what they were like in their twenties, and what led them to start a family. Listen, learn, and take it to heart. After all, “it’s a wise man who knows his father.”
  16. Take an improv class – Not necessarily because you want to become the next Stephen Colbert. Taking an improv or even just an acting class will help hone invaluable skills that will improve your overall quality of life. It’ll help you become a better, more composed public speaker; it’ll help you think on your feet; it can improve your memorization skills; and provide an outlet for creativity. Who knew those theater geeks in high school had it right all along?
  17. Volunteer – Don’t be an asshole — give back. Volunteering will help you avoid becoming one of those trite, self-absorbed 20-somethings, a la Carrie Bradshaw (sadly, she took it all the way into her fifties).
  18. Get artsy-fartsy – [Ed. Note: I’ve always hated that saying, but am such a sucker for a good rhyme.] Even if you don’t think you have any real talent there is solace in putting paint on a page.
  19. Make a new friend – Don’t get stuck in a rut with the friends you made in high school and college. Try to make a new, genuine friend each year (acquaintances don’t count!). And fiercely guard the friendships you treasure most.
  20. Camp outside in a tent – Ever heard the saying, “you can never go home“? Well, that’s a half-truth; Mother Nature will always welcome you back home, and her peaceful stillness will envelope you at once. Forest, desert, snow-capped mountain, it doesn’t matter — your bones will know you’ve come home again.
  21. Document your personal milestones – One of the most helpful things I did in my early twenties was document my personal life goals and milestones. I thought about what was most important to me, and mapped each goal to the age I wanted to accomplish it by. For example, pay off student loans by 24, make six figures by 25, buy a home by 28, earn my MBA by 29, have my first child at 30. This kept me focused on where I was going, but it was also fascinating to see how the goals evolved overtime.
  22. Speak at a conference – It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s oh-so-adult. People will look at you with new levels of respect when you’ve been featured at a conference.
  23. Start a running list of Mate Traits – If you plan to couple up permanently at any point in your life, begin making a list. The list contains three categories: Priority 1 attributes – the features your potential mate *must* have or it’s a dealbreaker, e.g., must not have drug or alcohol problems, must have good earning potential, must want to have children, etc.; priority 2 attributes – the features you strongly desire in a potential mate, e.g., should be blond, shouldn’t be allergic to cats, should have all his fingers; and priority 3 attributes – the nice-to-haves of a potential mate, e.g., be able to grow a full beard, be a bazillionaire.
  24. Learn to say ‘No’ – The earlier you learn this the better: Nobody likes a flake. Nobody likes a pushover. Stand up for what you want, but learn to do it politely and firmly. Not standing up for what you really want will leave you resentful at both yourself and the other person. It’s toxic and a terrible habit that you should break at once.
  25. Climb a mountain at dawn – For all the annoyance of having to wake up at 4am only to lug yourself and your gear for seemingly endless vertical miles under the twilight sky, seeing dawn break from a mountaintop is wholly worth it. No photo nor imagination can capture that moment of quiet perfection that feels like the birth of the earth. Just look out for mountain lions 🙂
  26. Swim with dolphins, manatees, or sharks – At least, if given the opportunity, don’t turn it down. Swimming with a dolphin is a bit like playing with an underwater dog. Having not yet swam with manatees or sharks, I can’t comment on their personalities, but I know that each experience would reveal its unique brand of majesty.
  27. Face your phobia – Apparently, there are about 700 documented forms of phobia…no wonder so many Americans are medicated these days! A lot of people forget that a phobia is an irrational fear of something. For example, I have a visceral fear of sharks — I can barely go into the deep end of a swimming pool without my heart hammering wildly in my chest. My rational self knows a shark attacking me in a chlorinated swimming pool is about as likely as me waking up on Jupiter, but my phobic self just can’t reconcile with that train of thought. However, to overcome this phobia, I take baby steps. I’m not quite ready to swim with sharks, but I will force myself to snorkel around an atoll. It’s helped quell my fear, even though it hasn’t eviscerated it. That’s why I recommend you find a way to face down your phobia. If you have a fear of spiders, start by finding a book of somewhat abstract spider-inspired art. If you’re afraid of heights, force yourself to travel to the top of the Eiffel Tour. Clowns get your goat? Dress yourself in full clown regalia (in the privacy of your own home) and check yourself out in the mirror. Necrophobic? Go to a picturesque graveyard during broad daylight with your most supportive friend. Try to find the beauty in your fear.
  28. Pamper yourself – And do it often! If you intend to tackle even half the items on this list, you’ll require lots of self-love, calm reflection, and regular R+R. Spend at least one Sunday a month alone having an at-home spa day with luxurious self-administered mani/pedis, facials, full-body stretches and more. Do it all with a glass of wine and end the day with a bubble bath.
  29. Pick a team – Follow at least one team of at least one sport voraciously. Become one of those crazy fans screaming your lungs out at a game (full body paint need not apply). Not only will you discover the secret bond between fellow fans, but you’ll also realize how much adrenaline rushes kick ass — especially non danger-induced ones.
  30. Sing karaoke (shamelessly) – Do it sober at least once. It’s the only place in the world where being terrible at something is ok, so long as you really throw your ass into it. Plus, it’s a great remedy for overcoming any lingering shyness.