What I Learned in 2012

  • published on10, Dec, 2017
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1) You have to pick your company very carefully. Culture is everything. Don’t pick management teams who are “too nice” or too mean.

2) Know when you’re ready for the next step in your career. Don’t waste your time treading water.

3) Demand recognition for your efforts.

4) Be strategic in your relationship building. Treat senior team members as mentors, your coworkers as allies, and junior team members as mentees.

^^^ A draft I lasted edited December 31, 2012 at 3:05pm. Very entertaining to look back on my apparent mentality at that time, as I publish this unfinished post at 5:52pm on December 10, 2017.

User Experience isn’t Everything

It seems the whole world has gone crazy for design lately. Engineers fancy themselves UXperts, Ad Sales is requesting PSDs to tweak, and Upper Management just doesn’t like that shade of blue.

Personally, I blame Pinterest.

Pinterest’s rapid ascent into mainstream lexicon* is enforcing the concept that the visual aspect is the only important piece of a product. Well, I’m here to tell you that that ain’t true.

Take the ‘To Do’ app Clear for example — it offers one of the most beautiful experiences available in the App Store. However, it’s also missing major features! It limits characters to an unusable minimum, there’s no indication of navigational hierarchy, the ‘down’ swipe intended to change screens constantly pulls down the iOS drop screen instead, and once you remove your completed tasks there’s no way to recover them (which is really annoying if you do it with an experimental swipe!!).

Path is another gorgeous app with insufficient use cases. The idea behind Path is that it’s the social network that limits your number of connections, thereby keeping your friend list to only your nearest and dearest. Well, that’s all well and good, but good luck trying to figure out how to post on another person’s Path! Instead of encouraging users to interact with one another, the featureset encourages them to fixate on their own Path. It quickly devolved into what Facebook began as — the pool into which Narcissus tumbled (complete with self-indulgent duckface photos to boot).

It’s been touted in the industry that 2013 is the ‘Year of Visual Web’ based on Pinterest’s continued success, redesigns by eBay that put imagery first, Facebook’s purchase of Instagram, and more. With the growing focus on aesthetics, let’s just hope people don’t forget about the features.

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*A bit of an aside, but according to the New York Times, young women are driving linguistic change more than any other demographic. And ~80% of Pinterest users in the US are female. Hmm…coincidence?

A Few Things I’ve Learned about NYC

So my 1st anniversary of living in New York City came and went — with me about 3,000 miles away at Oktoberfest in Munich. That, coupled with apartment hunting, a number of family birthdays, and the typical crush of getting out features before the year-end code freeze is why this post is about two months late. 🙂

Now the dust has settled and I’ve had a year to take in my new surroundings. Here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up this last year that may be helpful for NY n00bs:

  • If you are between 5’9″ and 6’1″, you must shield your eyes from pointy umbrella edges at all times when there is even a hint of rain (I learned this the hard way).
  • Manhattan subways are significantly more reliable, efficient, and easy to navigate than those of the Paris, DC, SF, or London systems.
  • Old school NYers still won’t enter Central Park between dusk and dawn.
  • Ordering food is a way of life.
  • You can’t feel guilty about having your laundry picked up, done, and delivered back perfectly folded. But you can complain about the smell of the detergent they use.
  • Manhattan is not impervious to natural disaster (as evidenced by Hurricane Sandy).
  • You can take a cab from the Upper East Side to Chelsea and it’ll only cost you $18.
  • NYers liken Staten Island more to New Jersey than to New York City (Staten Islanders included).
  • Staten Island’s amateur baseball team is called the Staten Island Yankees.
  • NYers swallow the ‘tt’ when they say “Manhattan.”
  • The Upper East Side has wider sidewalks in order to contain all the old people pushing baby carriages while holding large umbrellas in one hand, and multiple dog leashes in the other.
  • Techies are significantly more valuable out here than we are in the Bay Area.
  • NYers “stand on line,” not “wait in line.”
  • Shopping on 5th avenue is for tourists. Or the very, very rich.
  • Hiking trails are surprisingly accessible via public transportation.
  • If you’re going to take getting pushed and shoved personally, don’t get on the subway.
  • Walk with purpose or you’ll constantly be doing that awkward trying-to-pass-each-other-but-not-succeeding-until-the-fifth-feint dance with strangers.

So hopefully the world doesn’t end next month, and I’ll get enjoy another year in Manhattan.

30 Things to Do Before 30

  1. Become really great at something. Your twenties have two purposes: 1) to allow you to apply the knowledge your parents bestowed upon you during your childhood + teenage years, and 2) to take that applied knowledge and see where your natural talent and personal interest intersect. Once you’ve found that intersection, your goal is to focus on it and become freakishly good at it (if at all possible, try to carve a career out of it too). Becoming truly amazing at something in your twenties will cut down on a lot of overhead in your thirties, when you’ll not have the time for such fripperies as surfing during your lunch break or throwing out three batches of homemade brownies just to get one right. For most of us, our thirties will be full of responsibility for others — don’t mistake your twenties for the time to “be a grown up.”
  2. Take a road trip across the U.S. – Whether you shoot across the northern route, meander through the southern track, or take the zigzag approach, you will not be disappointed with the Heartland’s multitude of oddities. Take advantage of the abstraction of time that is your twenties, grab some friends, and hit the road! The Bronze Fonz is not something you’ll regret seeing (and perhaps something one can only truly appreciate pre-30s).
  3. Live alone – That’s right — live alone. Perfectly, utterly, inexorably alone. The first year might be pretty tough, since you’ve likely lived with at least one other person from conception to, well, now, but the moment you discover the virtues of shamelessly walking around naked with a glass of red wine in hand or unselfconsciously leaving your dirty clothes in a corner ’til they’re good and ripe, you’ll wonder how you could ever go back to living with another living soul. Not to mention that after reveling in your own filth for a while, you’ll grow so sick of it that you’ll learn how to “keep a household” in short order.
  4. Get thee to Canada and Mexico – You can’t rightfully crack jokes about our neighbors to the north and south until you’ve actually been there.
  5. Scramble – Scrambling is at least as fun as it sounds, and its ambiguous nature makes it flexible enough to fit your needs (read: abilities). I’ve heard from friends who scramble that there’s a technique: One must ascend a rockface within X amount of moves, thus making it an almost chess-like game of strategy. However, since I can find no documentation of such a technique  via Almighty Google, do with that what you will.
  6. Scuba or sky dive – Do something extreme! Sadly, some people (myself included) are unable to scuba dive due to an inability to equalize 🙁 For those of us who are excluded from the silent ballet that is deep sea aquatic life, let’s do something crazy to (over)compensate, right?! Jumping out of a plane will certainly suffice.
  7. Pay off student loans – Because your thirties will be full of brand new and exciting types of debt (mortgage payments anyone?). Plus, that’s just good business.
  8. Protect your credit with your life – It takes 7-10 years for collections, late payments, and (eep!) bankruptcy to be removed from your credit report. Don’t let a few casually missed credit card payments prevent you from getting everything you want in your thirties.
  9. Learn to sail – There’s something perfectly upperclass about knowing how to sail a scooner. Plus, you never know when you might need to steal awa’ in a sailboat, pirate-style. Ahh, the dichotomy that is sea-life.
  10. Eat at a Michelin star restaurant – It might be tough to swing for most 20-somethings, but if you’re ever in the vicinity of a Michelin star restaurant you simply must make a reservation! Not only is the food amazing, but getting dressed to the nines and sipping delicious wine will prove worth every one of the thousands of pennies you will undoubtedly spend. Still not convinced? Let me put it this way: French chefs have committed suicide as a result of losing a star. Yeah. That’s how hardcore the Guide Michelin is in the food world.
  11. Get published – Blog, newspaper op-ed, The New Yorker – it doesn’t matter. Get your voice out there, so you can remember what you sounded like in your twenties for the rest of your life. Plus, the internet immortalizes you; it’ll be fun for your future kids to look at when they’re all grown up.
  12. Take photos – Immortalize all the best moments of your life through photographs! Put everything in the Cloud and back them up on an external hard drive, so you have no risk of losing them. I went to Prague with a friend a couple years ago and I got pickpocketed — my deepest regret is that the thief took my camera before I could upload my photos. Do be careful what you share publicly though — it could affect not only your professional life, but also your friends’, family’s, and acquaintances’ perception of you (everybody e-stalks on occasion).
  13. Explore another continent – For Americans, it seems the ubiquitous Eurotrip is the obvious choice, but it doesn’t have to be! The world is shrinking at a terrific rate, so take advantage of it! Go somewhere less common — mosey through the Maghreb, travel through the Thailand-Vietnam-Cambodia trifecta, become one with the Balkan states, or trek from St. Petersburg through Siberia to Mongolia. Why? Because it will make you a better person.
  14. Ski/snowboard or surf– Whether the Alps or Lake Tahoe, skiing/snowboarding is both exhilarating and challenging. I recommend you get a friend who knows what they’re doing on the slopes to teach you how to “slip” and turn (who cares if you’re a total Betty?). It’ll save you some cash, and you can buy your beneficent instructor some hot cider later — everybody wins!
  15. Get to know your folks as something other than “your folks” – Your twenties are a magical time for many reasons — those damn hormones finally begin to ebb, you’re finally able to fund your unique (read: weird) passions, and you can eat whatever the hell you want. But one of the oddest and yet most fulfilling things is the change in dynamic between yourself and your parents. You should take the time to get to know them as human beings. Find out what they were like in their twenties, and what led them to start a family. Listen, learn, and take it to heart. After all, “it’s a wise man who knows his father.”
  16. Take an improv class – Not necessarily because you want to become the next Stephen Colbert. Taking an improv or even just an acting class will help hone invaluable skills that will improve your overall quality of life. It’ll help you become a better, more composed public speaker; it’ll help you think on your feet; it can improve your memorization skills; and provide an outlet for creativity. Who knew those theater geeks in high school had it right all along?
  17. Volunteer – Don’t be an asshole — give back. Volunteering will help you avoid becoming one of those trite, self-absorbed 20-somethings, a la Carrie Bradshaw (sadly, she took it all the way into her fifties).
  18. Get artsy-fartsy – [Ed. Note: I’ve always hated that saying, but am such a sucker for a good rhyme.] Even if you don’t think you have any real talent there is solace in putting paint on a page.
  19. Make a new friend – Don’t get stuck in a rut with the friends you made in high school and college. Try to make a new, genuine friend each year (acquaintances don’t count!). And fiercely guard the friendships you treasure most.
  20. Camp outside in a tent – Ever heard the saying, “you can never go home“? Well, that’s a half-truth; Mother Nature will always welcome you back home, and her peaceful stillness will envelope you at once. Forest, desert, snow-capped mountain, it doesn’t matter — your bones will know you’ve come home again.
  21. Document your personal milestones – One of the most helpful things I did in my early twenties was document my personal life goals and milestones. I thought about what was most important to me, and mapped each goal to the age I wanted to accomplish it by. For example, pay off student loans by 24, make six figures by 25, buy a home by 28, earn my MBA by 29, have my first child at 30. This kept me focused on where I was going, but it was also fascinating to see how the goals evolved overtime.
  22. Speak at a conference – It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s oh-so-adult. People will look at you with new levels of respect when you’ve been featured at a conference.
  23. Start a running list of Mate Traits – If you plan to couple up permanently at any point in your life, begin making a list. The list contains three categories: Priority 1 attributes – the features your potential mate *must* have or it’s a dealbreaker, e.g., must not have drug or alcohol problems, must have good earning potential, must want to have children, etc.; priority 2 attributes – the features you strongly desire in a potential mate, e.g., should be blond, shouldn’t be allergic to cats, should have all his fingers; and priority 3 attributes – the nice-to-haves of a potential mate, e.g., be able to grow a full beard, be a bazillionaire.
  24. Learn to say ‘No’ – The earlier you learn this the better: Nobody likes a flake. Nobody likes a pushover. Stand up for what you want, but learn to do it politely and firmly. Not standing up for what you really want will leave you resentful at both yourself and the other person. It’s toxic and a terrible habit that you should break at once.
  25. Climb a mountain at dawn – For all the annoyance of having to wake up at 4am only to lug yourself and your gear for seemingly endless vertical miles under the twilight sky, seeing dawn break from a mountaintop is wholly worth it. No photo nor imagination can capture that moment of quiet perfection that feels like the birth of the earth. Just look out for mountain lions 🙂
  26. Swim with dolphins, manatees, or sharks – At least, if given the opportunity, don’t turn it down. Swimming with a dolphin is a bit like playing with an underwater dog. Having not yet swam with manatees or sharks, I can’t comment on their personalities, but I know that each experience would reveal its unique brand of majesty.
  27. Face your phobia – Apparently, there are about 700 documented forms of phobia…no wonder so many Americans are medicated these days! A lot of people forget that a phobia is an irrational fear of something. For example, I have a visceral fear of sharks — I can barely go into the deep end of a swimming pool without my heart hammering wildly in my chest. My rational self knows a shark attacking me in a chlorinated swimming pool is about as likely as me waking up on Jupiter, but my phobic self just can’t reconcile with that train of thought. However, to overcome this phobia, I take baby steps. I’m not quite ready to swim with sharks, but I will force myself to snorkel around an atoll. It’s helped quell my fear, even though it hasn’t eviscerated it. That’s why I recommend you find a way to face down your phobia. If you have a fear of spiders, start by finding a book of somewhat abstract spider-inspired art. If you’re afraid of heights, force yourself to travel to the top of the Eiffel Tour. Clowns get your goat? Dress yourself in full clown regalia (in the privacy of your own home) and check yourself out in the mirror. Necrophobic? Go to a picturesque graveyard during broad daylight with your most supportive friend. Try to find the beauty in your fear.
  28. Pamper yourself – And do it often! If you intend to tackle even half the items on this list, you’ll require lots of self-love, calm reflection, and regular R+R. Spend at least one Sunday a month alone having an at-home spa day with luxurious self-administered mani/pedis, facials, full-body stretches and more. Do it all with a glass of wine and end the day with a bubble bath.
  29. Pick a team – Follow at least one team of at least one sport voraciously. Become one of those crazy fans screaming your lungs out at a game (full body paint need not apply). Not only will you discover the secret bond between fellow fans, but you’ll also realize how much adrenaline rushes kick ass — especially non danger-induced ones.
  30. Sing karaoke (shamelessly) – Do it sober at least once. It’s the only place in the world where being terrible at something is ok, so long as you really throw your ass into it. Plus, it’s a great remedy for overcoming any lingering shyness.

Younger Next Year

Younger Next Year describes that lifestyle, summarized by “Harry’s Rules.” Follow them, the authors say, and you’ll turn back your biological clock — “become functionally younger every year for the next decade.” From the book:

Harry’s Rules

  1. Exercise six days a week for the rest of your life. Don’t think of it as exercise. Think of it as sending a constant ‘grow’ message
as telling your body to get stronger, more limber, functionally younger, in the only language your body understands. Do it because it’s the only thing that works.
  2. Do serious aerobic exercise four days a week for the rest of your life. Hard aerobics, working up a good sweat, is our favorite exercise rhythm because [it] brings out our youngest and best biology: strong, fast, energetic, and optimistic all day long. Tell your body it’s springtime.
  3. Do serious strength training, with weights, two days a week for the rest of your life.Generally, we aren’t aware of nerve decay as we get older, but it’s the main reason our joints wear out, our muscles get sloppy, and our ability to be physically alert and powerful begins to fade. And it is reversible with strength training.
  4. Spend less than you make. Time to quit playing and come inside. Come inside your income. Try to do it early. As with smoking, you can recover. It takes time and earlier is better, but do it.
  5. Quit eating crap! Never go on a diet again. The only way to lose weight is to embark on a program of steady, vigorous exercise, avoiding the worst foods (french fries, almost all fast food, processed snacks with names that end with the letter “O”), and eating less of everything.
  6. Care. There have to be people and causes you care about. Doesn’t seem to matter much what the causes are. They don’t have to be important to society or make money, as long as they’re important to you.
  7. Connect and commit. There is a terrible temptation, in our 60s and 70s, to close up shop and narrow our lives. In most cases, retirement already does that, and it’s tempting to just go along with the program, get narrower and narrower. Well, don’t. It’s killing us. We have toexercise our social, pack-animal gifts as vigorously as we exercise our bodies. That means adding friends, doing more stuff, getting out there, and being involved.

43 Tenets to Live By

In my spare time, I often contemplate what sort of impact my life has had on the world around me. Not necessarily in a directly measurable way, but in more of a Butterfly Effect kind of way. How have my past choices affected the lives of those I’ve known? Affected my future?
Of course, there’s no real way to know — these ruminations are simply idle speculation. However, I am forever trying to improve my life philosophy in order to increase the amount of positive effects I can have on myself and those around me. Recently, I came across an amazing article on one of my favorite blogs, Get Rich Slowly (I highly recommend checking it out). The author wrote 43 observations he’s made in his 43 years of life, and a number of his points directly correlated with my personal thoughts on how to view life. I’ve listed all 43 below as they are definitely worth reading.
  1. Be impeccable with your word. Be honest — with yourself and others. If you promise to do something, do it. When somebody asks you a question, tell the truth. Don’t gossip. Practice what you preach.
  2. Don’t take anything personally. When people criticize you and your actions, it’s not about you — it’s about them. They can’t know what it’s like to be you and to be living your life. When you take things personally, you’re allowing others to control your life and your happiness. “The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.” — Arab proverb
  3. Don’t make assumptions. The flip side of not taking anything personally is to not assume you know what’s going on in other people’s heads, to not assume you know the motivations for their actions. Just as their reality doesn’t reflect your reality, your life is not theirs. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Always do your best. Your best will vary from moment to moment. Some days in the gym, for instance, I’m able to lift heavier weights than on other days. That’s okay. I do the best I can every time. This is one of the keys to success and to happiness: No matter what you do, do it as well as you can.
  5. Be skeptical — but learn to listen. In other words, don’t believe everything you hear, not just from others, but also from your own internal self-talk. Keep an open mind, but analyze the things you see and hear to see if they actually make sense.
  6. Be encouraging. There are a lot of people out there who want to tell others what’s wrong with their actions, why the things they want to do can’t be done. Don’t be that way. Instead, do what you can (in big ways and subtle ways) to help others achieve their goals.
  7. People who are happy with their own lives almost never criticize others, to paraphrase Steven Pressfield from The War of Art. “If they speak at all,” says Pressfield, “it’s to offer encouragement.”
  8. Have the courage to pursue your dreams. If you want something, go after it. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in a life filled with shoulds. Don’t do things just because others expect you to do them. Choose what you want. “The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it’s a different kind of life.” — R. Buckminster Fuller
  9. Fear is the mind-killer. If you can build confidence and overcome fear, you’ll be happier and more successful. This isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
  10. “No hay mal que por bien no venga.” — Spanish proverb. That is, there is no bad from which some good does not come. (Or, “every cloud has a silver lining”.) Sometimes life sucks. Bad things happen. But in nearly every instance, the bad brings good too, usually in the opportunity to change, to transform yourself into something new.
  11. Change is good. For some reason, our society is skeptical of people who transform themselves. A politician who changes her mind because she gains a deeper understanding of something is said to have “flip-flopped” on an issue. But personal growth can be amazing. By doing and trying and learning new things, you experience more of life, and you become a better person. Don’t be afraid to change and grow.
  12. Spirituality is personal. The desire for one person (or group) to impose her (or their) beliefs on others is the source of much of this world’s strife. Believe what you want, and let others do the same. “There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama
  13. Self-care comes first. Eat right. Exercise. Take time to relax. Do your personal chores. Be well groomed. Treat yourself like a princess (or a prince). When you take care of yourself, it’s easier to be of service to others.
  14. You can’t predict what the Future You will like. It’s pointless to even try. Instead, focus on creating the best life for the Present You. Make decisions based on what you need today instead of what might happen tomorrow. (But note this isn’t permission to simply ignore the future. You still need to save for retirement, for instance, but you also need to make decisions based on who you are at this moment.)
  15. Be present in the moment. When you do something, do that thing. When you’re with somebody, butwith them. Don’t multitask. Put away the smartphone or the computer or the book. Be all there. When you do this, you’ll do better work, you’ll show respect to others, and you’ll enjoy yourself more.
  16. Don’t try to change others. “Attempts to change others are rarely successful, and even then are probably not completely satisfying,” Harry Browne wrote in How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. “To accept others as they are doesn’t mean you have to give into them or put up with them. You are sovereign. You own your own world. You can choose
There are millions of people out there in the world; you have a lot more to choose from than just what you see in front of you now.”
  17. Don’t allow others to try to change you. Again from How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World: “You are free to live your life as you want
The demands and wishes of others don’t control your life. You do. You make the decisions
There are thousands of people who wouldn’t demand that you bend yourself out of shape to please them. There are people who will want you to be yourself, people who see things as you do, people who want the same things you want. Why should you have to waste your life in a futile effort to please those with whom you aren’t compatible?”
  18. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Admitting ignorance isn’t the same as admitting defeat. It doesn’t make you look bad. You know what does make you look bad? Saying or doing something with confidence but being completely wrong. If you don’t know, say so.
  19. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s bad. Pursue your passions, and let others pursue theirs. If you don’t like something, fine. There’s no need to make a big deal about it. (Note: This is a tough one for me to actually practice in daily life.)
  20. There’s seldom one right way to do something. Most of the time, there are multiple paths to success. For instance, as I’ve said many times here at Get Rich Slowly, there’s no one right way to get out of debt. Don’t believe anyone who tells you there is.
  21. Quality tools can make life better. For years, I equated low cost with smart spending. Now I know that’s not always the case. Now, I’m willing to spend to buy high-quality things when I know I’ll use them all the time. I have high-quality boots, for instance, and an expensive computer. I’m okay with that. I walk everywhere I go, so the boots are worth it. And my computer is my livelihood. The expense is worth it because it makes working a joy. For items used daily, buy the best. If you don’t use it often, of if it’s not important to you, buy the cheapest possible.
  22. Happiness is mostly internal. While external forces do affect well-being, most of your happiness comes from one place: You. Research has shown that about 50% of happiness is biological; 40% of happiness comes from intentional activity, the things you choose to do; and only 10% of your happiness is based on external factors beyond your control. If you’re not happy, change who you are and what you do.
  23. Small passions give life flavor. I love bacon and comic books and Scotch whisky and cats and maracuyĂĄ (a passionfruit from PerĂș). I enjoy walking through the city, reading the news in Spanish, taking the laundry out of the dryer, and ordering the same tea every day from the same barrista. These small pleasures provide texture to life. Savor them.
  24. There’s no such thing as natural talent. If you want to be good at something, you have to spend the time to become good at that thing. Only American superheroes don’t have to work for the abilities they have. And how strange is that? They’re just given their powers. That’s not how it works in the real world. As Malcolm Gladwell notes in Outliers, in the real world, people become experts by putting in thousands of hours.
  25. Be adventurous. Try new things. Eat new food. Learn a new skill. Travel. Watch foreign films. Change your hairstyle. You might not enjoy everything you try, but then you might find something you really love. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  26. Be open-minded. Read books and magazines and newspapers and web sites. (And not just the ones you already agree with or like.) Listen to other people’s opinions. You don’t have to welcome every new idea with open arms; just be willing to change and grow. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  27. Be positive. Life is short. Don’t waste time complaining. If you can do something about a problem, do it. Otherwise, get on with life and forget it. Route your negative energy in a positive direction. If you hate something, fine, but don’t make it your career. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  28. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Who cares if your shirt isn’t ironed? If you forgot to mail the phone bill? If you can’t remember someone’s name? Take it easy. It’s not that important.
  29. Ask for it. You’ll never get it if you don’t ask. And you might be surprised at what you can get just by being bold.
  30. Slow and steady wins the race. The most successful folks are those who work longest and hardest at things they love to do. So try to find ways to make frugality fun, and recognize that you’re in this for the long haul. You’re making a lifestyle change, not looking for a quick fix.
  31. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Too many people never get started toward their goals because they don’t know that the “best” first step is. Don’t worry about getting things exactly right — just choose a good option and do something to get started.
  32. Failure is okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let one slip-up drag you down. One key difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is the ability to recover from a setback and keep marching toward a goal. Use failures to learn what not to do next time. “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” — Japanese proverb
  33. You can have (or do) anything you want — but you can’t have (or do) everything you want. Being smart with money — or with time — isn’t about giving up your plasma TV or your daily latte. It’s about setting priorities and managing expectations, about conscious living. Focus on the things that matter most to you and ignore everything else.
  34. You don’t need permission. When we’re young, we wait for our parents and our teachers to say it’s okay to do the things we want to do. As an adult, you don’t need permission from anyone else. Do you want to quit your job and travel the world? Do it. Do you want to learn how to ride a motorcycle? Do it. Don’t wait for somebody to give you the go-ahead. You are the only one who needs to give yourself permission to do these things.
  35. Action beats inaction. It’s easy to put things off, but the sooner you start moving toward your goals, the easier they’ll be to reach. It’s better to start with small steps today than to wait for that someday when you’ll be able to make great strides. Get moving.
  36. Along similar lines, it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you do. Live a life of action, not words. “Action is character.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald.
  37. Look for connections. Share your interests and experiences with people you meet. You don’t need to force your story on others. But learn to strike up conversations with people you meet. Ask them about their lives. They’ll ask you about yours. In Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferrazzi notes this is a great way to form connections you might otherwise miss. In this way, you may sometimes turn a random encounter into a possible “lucky break”. (Occasionally you will be a source of luck for the people you meet, just as they will sometimes be a source of luck for you.)
  38. Keep your options open. Goals are good. But single-minded devotion to a goal can often blind a person to other opportunities. And it’s a mistake to cling to one path out of a sense of obligation. If you enter law school and discover you hate it, quit. Don’t endure years of misery because you feel it’s expected of you. You have more options than you think, but you may need to open your eyes to see them.
  39. Be empathetic — think like the other person. Remember that people are all the same. We each have the same fears and the same desires. Underneath, most folks are pretty nice. Instead of fighting with others are hating them because they’re different, try to get a feel for their story, their point of view. “You never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.” — Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird.
  40. Do the right thing. If you do what’s right, and you do it well, what do you care what other people think? Successful people will always have critics. Learn from the critics or to ignore them, but don’t let them bring you down. Do the right thing, and confidently own the consequences.
  41. Don’t compare yourself to others. I’ll tell you a secret. There are a lot of personal finance blogs out there. I don’t get to read them as often as I used to, but I do try to make the rounds once every week. Sometimes when I do this, I feel like giving up. I feel like quitting. I lose confidence. “I can’t write that well,” I think. “I can’t cover retirement investing as well as Jim did.” Comparing myself to others is counter-productive. It only makes me feel inadequate. Who cares what other people write, or how well? What’s important is simply producing the best work I can. All I can be is myself.
  42. Be yourself. This is by far the most important thing I’ve learned about life. For so long, I tried to please other people, tried to be and do the things I thought they wanted me to be and do. That just made me unhappy. And most of the time, it didn’t please anyone. I’ve had enough of that. Instead of trying to be somebody else, I’m just me. I’m honest about who I am and what I want. Sure, that means some of my old friends don’t like who I’ve become. That’s okay. I’ve made new friends who do like who I am. But the best part is that I like who I am.
  43. “Everybody is talented, original and has something important to say.” — Barbara Ueland, If You Want to Write.

San Francisco Summers

The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.

– Attributed to Mark Twain

Summertime in San Francisco is something of an anomaly. Visitors come from far and wide expecting to experience some of that world-famous California sun, only to be chilled by San Francisco’s unrelenting wind and fog. Between Memorial Day and Labor Day, San Francisco literally becomes a city in the clouds.

It’s interesting to see how people initially cope with this sort of unexpected season. Some people come here and pile on giant fur coats, hats and scarves. Others try to deny the weather by donning t-shirts and rocking Wayfarers. But the spirit of SF’s summer chill is definitely best instilled in our TV weatherpeople. We recently had a mini-heatwave in mid-July this year (read: it hit 75° for about three days), and the weatherlady assured her listeners that “we’ll be done with this warm weather soon — by the end of the week we’ll have our cloudy skies back.” And, yes, 75° constitutes a heat wave in SF.

You do eventually come to love the “Groundhog’s Day” effect though. While the rest of the country is struggling with scorching temps, hurricanes and unthinkable mugginess, San Fran quietly remains a steady 66°. When the whole country is fearing tornadoes and hurricanes, you realize it’s kind of nice that SF can be trusted to offer highs and lows that are within 5° of each other every single day. It may not be fun, but at least it’s reliable!