A Few Things I’ve Learned about NYC

So my 1st anniversary of living in New York City came and went — with me about 3,000 miles away at Oktoberfest in Munich. That, coupled with apartment hunting, a number of family birthdays, and the typical crush of getting out features before the year-end code freeze is why this post is about two months late. 🙂

Now the dust has settled and I’ve had a year to take in my new surroundings. Here are a few tidbits I’ve picked up this last year that may be helpful for NY n00bs:

  • If you are between 5’9″ and 6’1″, you must shield your eyes from pointy umbrella edges at all times when there is even a hint of rain (I learned this the hard way).
  • Manhattan subways are significantly more reliable, efficient, and easy to navigate than those of the Paris, DC, SF, or London systems.
  • Old school NYers still won’t enter Central Park between dusk and dawn.
  • Ordering food is a way of life.
  • You can’t feel guilty about having your laundry picked up, done, and delivered back perfectly folded. But you can complain about the smell of the detergent they use.
  • Manhattan is not impervious to natural disaster (as evidenced by Hurricane Sandy).
  • You can take a cab from the Upper East Side to Chelsea and it’ll only cost you $18.
  • NYers liken Staten Island more to New Jersey than to New York City (Staten Islanders included).
  • Staten Island’s amateur baseball team is called the Staten Island Yankees.
  • NYers swallow the ‘tt’ when they say “Manhattan.”
  • The Upper East Side has wider sidewalks in order to contain all the old people pushing baby carriages while holding large umbrellas in one hand, and multiple dog leashes in the other.
  • Techies are significantly more valuable out here than we are in the Bay Area.
  • NYers “stand on line,” not “wait in line.”
  • Shopping on 5th avenue is for tourists. Or the very, very rich.
  • Hiking trails are surprisingly accessible via public transportation.
  • If you’re going to take getting pushed and shoved personally, don’t get on the subway.
  • Walk with purpose or you’ll constantly be doing that awkward trying-to-pass-each-other-but-not-succeeding-until-the-fifth-feint dance with strangers.

So hopefully the world doesn’t end next month, and I’ll get enjoy another year in Manhattan.

30 Things to Do Before 30

  1. Become really great at something. Your twenties have two purposes: 1) to allow you to apply the knowledge your parents bestowed upon you during your childhood + teenage years, and 2) to take that applied knowledge and see where your natural talent and personal interest intersect. Once you’ve found that intersection, your goal is to focus on it and become freakishly good at it (if at all possible, try to carve a career out of it too). Becoming truly amazing at something in your twenties will cut down on a lot of overhead in your thirties, when you’ll not have the time for such fripperies as surfing during your lunch break or throwing out three batches of homemade brownies just to get one right. For most of us, our thirties will be full of responsibility for others — don’t mistake your twenties for the time to “be a grown up.”
  2. Take a road trip across the U.S. – Whether you shoot across the northern route, meander through the southern track, or take the zigzag approach, you will not be disappointed with the Heartland’s multitude of oddities. Take advantage of the abstraction of time that is your twenties, grab some friends, and hit the road! The Bronze Fonz is not something you’ll regret seeing (and perhaps something one can only truly appreciate pre-30s).
  3. Live alone – That’s right — live alone. Perfectly, utterly, inexorably alone. The first year might be pretty tough, since you’ve likely lived with at least one other person from conception to, well, now, but the moment you discover the virtues of shamelessly walking around naked with a glass of red wine in hand or unselfconsciously leaving your dirty clothes in a corner ’til they’re good and ripe, you’ll wonder how you could ever go back to living with another living soul. Not to mention that after reveling in your own filth for a while, you’ll grow so sick of it that you’ll learn how to “keep a household” in short order.
  4. Get thee to Canada and Mexico – You can’t rightfully crack jokes about our neighbors to the north and south until you’ve actually been there.
  5. Scramble – Scrambling is at least as fun as it sounds, and its ambiguous nature makes it flexible enough to fit your needs (read: abilities). I’ve heard from friends who scramble that there’s a technique: One must ascend a rockface within X amount of moves, thus making it an almost chess-like game of strategy. However, since I can find no documentation of such a technique  via Almighty Google, do with that what you will.
  6. Scuba or sky dive – Do something extreme! Sadly, some people (myself included) are unable to scuba dive due to an inability to equalize 🙁 For those of us who are excluded from the silent ballet that is deep sea aquatic life, let’s do something crazy to (over)compensate, right?! Jumping out of a plane will certainly suffice.
  7. Pay off student loans – Because your thirties will be full of brand new and exciting types of debt (mortgage payments anyone?). Plus, that’s just good business.
  8. Protect your credit with your life – It takes 7-10 years for collections, late payments, and (eep!) bankruptcy to be removed from your credit report. Don’t let a few casually missed credit card payments prevent you from getting everything you want in your thirties.
  9. Learn to sail – There’s something perfectly upperclass about knowing how to sail a scooner. Plus, you never know when you might need to steal awa’ in a sailboat, pirate-style. Ahh, the dichotomy that is sea-life.
  10. Eat at a Michelin star restaurant – It might be tough to swing for most 20-somethings, but if you’re ever in the vicinity of a Michelin star restaurant you simply must make a reservation! Not only is the food amazing, but getting dressed to the nines and sipping delicious wine will prove worth every one of the thousands of pennies you will undoubtedly spend. Still not convinced? Let me put it this way: French chefs have committed suicide as a result of losing a star. Yeah. That’s how hardcore the Guide Michelin is in the food world.
  11. Get published – Blog, newspaper op-ed, The New Yorker – it doesn’t matter. Get your voice out there, so you can remember what you sounded like in your twenties for the rest of your life. Plus, the internet immortalizes you; it’ll be fun for your future kids to look at when they’re all grown up.
  12. Take photos – Immortalize all the best moments of your life through photographs! Put everything in the Cloud and back them up on an external hard drive, so you have no risk of losing them. I went to Prague with a friend a couple years ago and I got pickpocketed — my deepest regret is that the thief took my camera before I could upload my photos. Do be careful what you share publicly though — it could affect not only your professional life, but also your friends’, family’s, and acquaintances’ perception of you (everybody e-stalks on occasion).
  13. Explore another continent – For Americans, it seems the ubiquitous Eurotrip is the obvious choice, but it doesn’t have to be! The world is shrinking at a terrific rate, so take advantage of it! Go somewhere less common — mosey through the Maghreb, travel through the Thailand-Vietnam-Cambodia trifecta, become one with the Balkan states, or trek from St. Petersburg through Siberia to Mongolia. Why? Because it will make you a better person.
  14. Ski/snowboard or surf– Whether the Alps or Lake Tahoe, skiing/snowboarding is both exhilarating and challenging. I recommend you get a friend who knows what they’re doing on the slopes to teach you how to “slip” and turn (who cares if you’re a total Betty?). It’ll save you some cash, and you can buy your beneficent instructor some hot cider later — everybody wins!
  15. Get to know your folks as something other than “your folks” – Your twenties are a magical time for many reasons — those damn hormones finally begin to ebb, you’re finally able to fund your unique (read: weird) passions, and you can eat whatever the hell you want. But one of the oddest and yet most fulfilling things is the change in dynamic between yourself and your parents. You should take the time to get to know them as human beings. Find out what they were like in their twenties, and what led them to start a family. Listen, learn, and take it to heart. After all, “it’s a wise man who knows his father.”
  16. Take an improv class – Not necessarily because you want to become the next Stephen Colbert. Taking an improv or even just an acting class will help hone invaluable skills that will improve your overall quality of life. It’ll help you become a better, more composed public speaker; it’ll help you think on your feet; it can improve your memorization skills; and provide an outlet for creativity. Who knew those theater geeks in high school had it right all along?
  17. Volunteer – Don’t be an asshole — give back. Volunteering will help you avoid becoming one of those trite, self-absorbed 20-somethings, a la Carrie Bradshaw (sadly, she took it all the way into her fifties).
  18. Get artsy-fartsy – [Ed. Note: I’ve always hated that saying, but am such a sucker for a good rhyme.] Even if you don’t think you have any real talent there is solace in putting paint on a page.
  19. Make a new friend – Don’t get stuck in a rut with the friends you made in high school and college. Try to make a new, genuine friend each year (acquaintances don’t count!). And fiercely guard the friendships you treasure most.
  20. Camp outside in a tent – Ever heard the saying, “you can never go home“? Well, that’s a half-truth; Mother Nature will always welcome you back home, and her peaceful stillness will envelope you at once. Forest, desert, snow-capped mountain, it doesn’t matter — your bones will know you’ve come home again.
  21. Document your personal milestones – One of the most helpful things I did in my early twenties was document my personal life goals and milestones. I thought about what was most important to me, and mapped each goal to the age I wanted to accomplish it by. For example, pay off student loans by 24, make six figures by 25, buy a home by 28, earn my MBA by 29, have my first child at 30. This kept me focused on where I was going, but it was also fascinating to see how the goals evolved overtime.
  22. Speak at a conference – It’s scary, it’s fun, it’s oh-so-adult. People will look at you with new levels of respect when you’ve been featured at a conference.
  23. Start a running list of Mate Traits – If you plan to couple up permanently at any point in your life, begin making a list. The list contains three categories: Priority 1 attributes – the features your potential mate *must* have or it’s a dealbreaker, e.g., must not have drug or alcohol problems, must have good earning potential, must want to have children, etc.; priority 2 attributes – the features you strongly desire in a potential mate, e.g., should be blond, shouldn’t be allergic to cats, should have all his fingers; and priority 3 attributes – the nice-to-haves of a potential mate, e.g., be able to grow a full beard, be a bazillionaire.
  24. Learn to say ‘No’ – The earlier you learn this the better: Nobody likes a flake. Nobody likes a pushover. Stand up for what you want, but learn to do it politely and firmly. Not standing up for what you really want will leave you resentful at both yourself and the other person. It’s toxic and a terrible habit that you should break at once.
  25. Climb a mountain at dawn – For all the annoyance of having to wake up at 4am only to lug yourself and your gear for seemingly endless vertical miles under the twilight sky, seeing dawn break from a mountaintop is wholly worth it. No photo nor imagination can capture that moment of quiet perfection that feels like the birth of the earth. Just look out for mountain lions 🙂
  26. Swim with dolphins, manatees, or sharks – At least, if given the opportunity, don’t turn it down. Swimming with a dolphin is a bit like playing with an underwater dog. Having not yet swam with manatees or sharks, I can’t comment on their personalities, but I know that each experience would reveal its unique brand of majesty.
  27. Face your phobia – Apparently, there are about 700 documented forms of phobia…no wonder so many Americans are medicated these days! A lot of people forget that a phobia is an irrational fear of something. For example, I have a visceral fear of sharks — I can barely go into the deep end of a swimming pool without my heart hammering wildly in my chest. My rational self knows a shark attacking me in a chlorinated swimming pool is about as likely as me waking up on Jupiter, but my phobic self just can’t reconcile with that train of thought. However, to overcome this phobia, I take baby steps. I’m not quite ready to swim with sharks, but I will force myself to snorkel around an atoll. It’s helped quell my fear, even though it hasn’t eviscerated it. That’s why I recommend you find a way to face down your phobia. If you have a fear of spiders, start by finding a book of somewhat abstract spider-inspired art. If you’re afraid of heights, force yourself to travel to the top of the Eiffel Tour. Clowns get your goat? Dress yourself in full clown regalia (in the privacy of your own home) and check yourself out in the mirror. Necrophobic? Go to a picturesque graveyard during broad daylight with your most supportive friend. Try to find the beauty in your fear.
  28. Pamper yourself – And do it often! If you intend to tackle even half the items on this list, you’ll require lots of self-love, calm reflection, and regular R+R. Spend at least one Sunday a month alone having an at-home spa day with luxurious self-administered mani/pedis, facials, full-body stretches and more. Do it all with a glass of wine and end the day with a bubble bath.
  29. Pick a team – Follow at least one team of at least one sport voraciously. Become one of those crazy fans screaming your lungs out at a game (full body paint need not apply). Not only will you discover the secret bond between fellow fans, but you’ll also realize how much adrenaline rushes kick ass — especially non danger-induced ones.
  30. Sing karaoke (shamelessly) – Do it sober at least once. It’s the only place in the world where being terrible at something is ok, so long as you really throw your ass into it. Plus, it’s a great remedy for overcoming any lingering shyness.

Birthdays

I make no secret of it: I absolutely love birthdays. You’ve officially made it one more year on this earth…what better excuse for celebration? Although I love my own birthday (and the lavish attention it brings me), I can honestly say that I love celebrating my friends’ and family’s birthdays even more. Why? Because it combines my love of event planning with my love of surprising people!

My boyfriend’s 29th birthday (better known as “Tax Day”) just passed and was definitely cause for celebration this year. After a whirlwind decision to move to cross-country to New York City last October, we’ve finally just started to get the hang of the city. So what does that mean? Time to rent a car and explore nearby cities, of course!

First up: Philly!

We arrived in Philadelphia late on Friday night, so we decided to just crash in order to get an early start on Saturday. And what an early start it was! For whatever reason, both Wes and I were wide awake at 5:30AM, so we decided to shower and head out, instead of trying to get back to sleep.

We debated what to get for breakfast. I wanted to get a “normal” breakfast of coffee and an omelette. Wes, on the other hand, was determined to get a Philly cheesesteak — at 6:30AM!! Since it was his birthday trip, he won out, and I begrudgingly drove to the first two cheesesteak places on our list (yes, I made a list of the most recommended cheesesteaks in Philly).

We drove into Passyunk Square and debated who to try — Geno’s or Pat’s. These two places are touted as the best cheesesteaks in town, and Pat’s is credited with offering the very first Philly cheesesteak. We ultimately decided on Geno’s since it was the biggest eyesore on the Philly skyline. I ate about half of mine, and had to forfeit the rest. That was the first time I had eaten “non-Paleo” in over three weeks, and bread had somewhat lost its appeal to me.

After our tasty yet heavy breakfast, we parked the car just outside Center City and hoofed it to the Liberty Bell. We passed a lot of old historical squares and statues interspersed in the residential areas.

We spent the rest of the day exploring Philly — strolling down Elfreth’s Alley, soaking in the sun at Penn’s Landing, quietly touring Independence Hall, getting a deliciously buttery pretzel from the Amish stall in Reading Terminal, and gawking at the oddities in the Mutter Museum. We liked the Mutter Museum a lot, and concluded that it was the equivalent of the Internet, before the Internet. Like the original Rotten.com or something. Wes even got a shirt! I told him it looked like a Black Metal band shirt 🙂

We had such a packed day in Philly, and we didn’t even get to do the thing I wanted to do the most: the East State Penitentiary tour! I guess it’s a good thing though, because everyone tells me I should tour it on Halloween. Maybe we’ll save it for next October…

The next day, we drove to Atlantic City!

It was a gorgeous day, and we spent a lot of time exploring the boardwalk. I’m not much of a gambler, but Wes sure is, and he had been to AC many times before. He seemed to know all the best spots, which was a nice surprise for me!

The best part of the trip? ROULETTE!!! That is totally Wes and my game. We joined a table that was surrounded by a big tattooed dude with over $15grand in chips, a midget we later learned was named Morgan, and an old Asian dude who laughed the craziest laugh every time he won. I had a pretty good feeling about it, since Wes and I had a strategy: Rock-Paper-Scissors on every hand. If I win, we put it on Red; if he wins, we put it on Black; if we draw three times in a row, it goes to Green. Silly? It was — but it not only won us $200+, but everyone at the table seemed to love us (well, except the dealer — she didn’t seem to like us very much at all).

I had such a great time all weekend — I can’t wait until my next friend’s birthday!!

100 Places to Travel Challenge

I have to admit: I’m a sucker for these travel challenge things.  Interestingly enough, I’ve actually either just been or am about to go to around ten of the places on the list! I’ve italicized the places I’ve been, and emboldened the places I plan to visit in 2012. The real challenge would be for me to dig up pictures of each of these places!

1. Alamo
San Antonio, Texas, USA

2. Alhambra 
Granada, Spain

3. Andros Island
Bahamas

4. Angel Falls
Venezuela

5. Angkor Wat
Angkor, Cambodia

6. Atlantic City Boardwalk
Atlantic City, New Jersey, USA

7. Ayers Rock
Australia

8. Big Ben 
London, England

9. Bora Bora
Polynesia

10. British Museum 
London, England

11. Canals of Amsterdam 
Amsterdam, Netherlands

12. Cathedral of Seville 
Seville, Spain

13. Cave of Crystals
Mexico

14. Christ the Redeemer
Rio De Janeiro, Brazil

15. Cinque Terre National Park 
Italy

16. Colosseum 
Rome, Italy

17. Crater Lake National Park 
Oregon, USA

18. Dead Sea 
Israel/Jordan

19. Death Valley National Park 
California, USA

20. Devil’s Tower
Wyoming, USA

21. Dome of the Rock 
Jerusalem, Israel

22. Easter Island Statues
Polynesia

23. Edinburgh Castle
Edinburgh, Scotland

24. Eiffel Tower 
Paris, France

25. Empire State Building 
New York City, New York, USA

26. Forbidden City
Beijing, China

27. French Quarter 
New Orleans, Louisiana, USA 

28. Galapagos Islands
Ecuador

29. Gateway Arch
St. Louis, Missouri, USA

30. Gettysburg Battlefield 
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, USA

31. Glacier Bay Basin
Alaska, USA

32. Glacier National Park
Montana, USA

33. Glowworm Cave
New Zealand

34. Golden Gate Bridge 
San Francisco, California, USA

35. Grand Canal 
Venice, Italy

36. Grand Canyon 
Arizona, USA

37. Grand Mosque in Mecca 
Saudi Arabia

38. Great Barrier Reef
Queensland, Australia

39. Great Mosque of Córdoba 
CĂłrdoba, Spain

40. Great Wall of China
China

41. Hagia Sophia
Istanbul, Turkey

42. Hawaii Volcanoes National Park 
Hawaii, USA

43. Hollywood Boulevard 
Hollywood, California, USA

44. Iguazu Falls
Argentina and Brazil

45. Kiyomizu-dera
Kyoto, Japan

46. Kremlin
Moscow, Russia

47. Lake Titicaca
Peru

48. Las Ramblas
Barcelona, Spain

49. Las Vegas Strip 
Las Vegas, Nevada

50. Leaning Tower of Pisa 
Pisa, Italy

51. Louvre Museum 
Paris, France

52. Macchu Picchu
Peru

53. Matterhorn 
Switzerland

54. Mayan Pyramids of Chichen Itza
Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico

55. Metropolitan Museum of Art 
New York City, New York, USA

56. Mount Everest
Nepal

57. Mount Fuji
Japan

58. Mount Kilimanjaro
Tanzania

59. Mount Rushmore
Keystone, South Dakota, USA

60. Napa Valley 
California, USA

61. Ngorongoro Crater
Tanzania

62. Niagara Falls 
New York, USA

63. Notre Dame Cathedral 
Paris, France

64. Pacific Rim National Park
British Columbia, Canada

65. Pebble Beaches of Nice 
Nice, France

66. Petra 
Jordan

67. Petronas Twin Towers
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

68. Portland Head Lighthouse 
Cape Elizabeth, Maine, USA

69. Puerta Del Sol 
Madrid, Spain

70. Pyramids of Giza 
Egypt

71. Redwood National Park 
California, USA

72. Rock of Gibraltar 
Gibraltar

73. Rocky Mountain National Park 
Colorado, USA 

74. Ruins of Athens
Athens, Greece

75. Ruins of Pompeii 
Pompei, Italy

76. Sagrada Famila
Barcelona, Spain

77. Willis Tower (formerly Sears Tower) 
Chicago, Illinois, USA

78. Sedlec Ossuary 
Czech Republic

79. Sistine Chapel 
Vatican City, Italy

80. Smithsonian Institution 
Washington, D.C., USA

81. Space Needle
Seattle, Washington, USA

82. St. Peter’s Basilica 
Vatican City, Italy

83. Statue of Liberty 
New York City, New York, USA

84. Stonehenge
Wiltshire County, England

85. Sydney Opera House
Sydney, Australia

86. Taj Mahal
Agra, India

87. Temple of the Golden Pavilion
Kyoto, Japan

88. Teotihuacan
Mexico

89. Tian Tan Buddha
Hong Kong, China

90. Times Square 
New York City, New York, USA

91. Varanasi
Uttar Pradesh, India

92. Victoria Falls
Zimbabwe

93. Wailing Wall 
Jerusalem, Israel

94. Walt Disney World Resort 
Orlando, Florida

95. Washington Monument 
Washington, D.C., USA

96. White Cliffs of Dover
Dover, England

97. White House 
Washington, D.C., USA

98. Winchester Cathedral
Hampshire, England

99. Yosemite National Park 
California, USA

100. Zion National Park
Utah, USA

43 Tenets to Live By

In my spare time, I often contemplate what sort of impact my life has had on the world around me. Not necessarily in a directly measurable way, but in more of a Butterfly Effect kind of way. How have my past choices affected the lives of those I’ve known? Affected my future?
Of course, there’s no real way to know — these ruminations are simply idle speculation. However, I am forever trying to improve my life philosophy in order to increase the amount of positive effects I can have on myself and those around me. Recently, I came across an amazing article on one of my favorite blogs, Get Rich Slowly (I highly recommend checking it out). The author wrote 43 observations he’s made in his 43 years of life, and a number of his points directly correlated with my personal thoughts on how to view life. I’ve listed all 43 below as they are definitely worth reading.
  1. Be impeccable with your word. Be honest — with yourself and others. If you promise to do something, do it. When somebody asks you a question, tell the truth. Don’t gossip. Practice what you preach.
  2. Don’t take anything personally. When people criticize you and your actions, it’s not about you — it’s about them. They can’t know what it’s like to be you and to be living your life. When you take things personally, you’re allowing others to control your life and your happiness. “The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.” — Arab proverb
  3. Don’t make assumptions. The flip side of not taking anything personally is to not assume you know what’s going on in other people’s heads, to not assume you know the motivations for their actions. Just as their reality doesn’t reflect your reality, your life is not theirs. Give people the benefit of the doubt.
  4. Always do your best. Your best will vary from moment to moment. Some days in the gym, for instance, I’m able to lift heavier weights than on other days. That’s okay. I do the best I can every time. This is one of the keys to success and to happiness: No matter what you do, do it as well as you can.
  5. Be skeptical — but learn to listen. In other words, don’t believe everything you hear, not just from others, but also from your own internal self-talk. Keep an open mind, but analyze the things you see and hear to see if they actually make sense.
  6. Be encouraging. There are a lot of people out there who want to tell others what’s wrong with their actions, why the things they want to do can’t be done. Don’t be that way. Instead, do what you can (in big ways and subtle ways) to help others achieve their goals.
  7. People who are happy with their own lives almost never criticize others, to paraphrase Steven Pressfield from The War of Art. “If they speak at all,” says Pressfield, “it’s to offer encouragement.”
  8. Have the courage to pursue your dreams. If you want something, go after it. Don’t allow yourself to be trapped in a life filled with shoulds. Don’t do things just because others expect you to do them. Choose what you want. “The minute you choose to do what you really want to do, it’s a different kind of life.” — R. Buckminster Fuller
  9. Fear is the mind-killer. If you can build confidence and overcome fear, you’ll be happier and more successful. This isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
  10. “No hay mal que por bien no venga.” — Spanish proverb. That is, there is no bad from which some good does not come. (Or, “every cloud has a silver lining”.) Sometimes life sucks. Bad things happen. But in nearly every instance, the bad brings good too, usually in the opportunity to change, to transform yourself into something new.
  11. Change is good. For some reason, our society is skeptical of people who transform themselves. A politician who changes her mind because she gains a deeper understanding of something is said to have “flip-flopped” on an issue. But personal growth can be amazing. By doing and trying and learning new things, you experience more of life, and you become a better person. Don’t be afraid to change and grow.
  12. Spirituality is personal. The desire for one person (or group) to impose her (or their) beliefs on others is the source of much of this world’s strife. Believe what you want, and let others do the same. “There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness.” — Dalai Lama
  13. Self-care comes first. Eat right. Exercise. Take time to relax. Do your personal chores. Be well groomed. Treat yourself like a princess (or a prince). When you take care of yourself, it’s easier to be of service to others.
  14. You can’t predict what the Future You will like. It’s pointless to even try. Instead, focus on creating the best life for the Present You. Make decisions based on what you need today instead of what might happen tomorrow. (But note this isn’t permission to simply ignore the future. You still need to save for retirement, for instance, but you also need to make decisions based on who you are at this moment.)
  15. Be present in the moment. When you do something, do that thing. When you’re with somebody, butwith them. Don’t multitask. Put away the smartphone or the computer or the book. Be all there. When you do this, you’ll do better work, you’ll show respect to others, and you’ll enjoy yourself more.
  16. Don’t try to change others. “Attempts to change others are rarely successful, and even then are probably not completely satisfying,” Harry Browne wrote in How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World. “To accept others as they are doesn’t mean you have to give into them or put up with them. You are sovereign. You own your own world. You can choose
There are millions of people out there in the world; you have a lot more to choose from than just what you see in front of you now.”
  17. Don’t allow others to try to change you. Again from How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World: “You are free to live your life as you want
The demands and wishes of others don’t control your life. You do. You make the decisions
There are thousands of people who wouldn’t demand that you bend yourself out of shape to please them. There are people who will want you to be yourself, people who see things as you do, people who want the same things you want. Why should you have to waste your life in a futile effort to please those with whom you aren’t compatible?”
  18. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Admitting ignorance isn’t the same as admitting defeat. It doesn’t make you look bad. You know what does make you look bad? Saying or doing something with confidence but being completely wrong. If you don’t know, say so.
  19. Don’t yuck someone else’s yum. Just because you don’t like something doesn’t mean it’s bad. Pursue your passions, and let others pursue theirs. If you don’t like something, fine. There’s no need to make a big deal about it. (Note: This is a tough one for me to actually practice in daily life.)
  20. There’s seldom one right way to do something. Most of the time, there are multiple paths to success. For instance, as I’ve said many times here at Get Rich Slowly, there’s no one right way to get out of debt. Don’t believe anyone who tells you there is.
  21. Quality tools can make life better. For years, I equated low cost with smart spending. Now I know that’s not always the case. Now, I’m willing to spend to buy high-quality things when I know I’ll use them all the time. I have high-quality boots, for instance, and an expensive computer. I’m okay with that. I walk everywhere I go, so the boots are worth it. And my computer is my livelihood. The expense is worth it because it makes working a joy. For items used daily, buy the best. If you don’t use it often, of if it’s not important to you, buy the cheapest possible.
  22. Happiness is mostly internal. While external forces do affect well-being, most of your happiness comes from one place: You. Research has shown that about 50% of happiness is biological; 40% of happiness comes from intentional activity, the things you choose to do; and only 10% of your happiness is based on external factors beyond your control. If you’re not happy, change who you are and what you do.
  23. Small passions give life flavor. I love bacon and comic books and Scotch whisky and cats and maracuyĂĄ (a passionfruit from PerĂș). I enjoy walking through the city, reading the news in Spanish, taking the laundry out of the dryer, and ordering the same tea every day from the same barrista. These small pleasures provide texture to life. Savor them.
  24. There’s no such thing as natural talent. If you want to be good at something, you have to spend the time to become good at that thing. Only American superheroes don’t have to work for the abilities they have. And how strange is that? They’re just given their powers. That’s not how it works in the real world. As Malcolm Gladwell notes in Outliers, in the real world, people become experts by putting in thousands of hours.
  25. Be adventurous. Try new things. Eat new food. Learn a new skill. Travel. Watch foreign films. Change your hairstyle. You might not enjoy everything you try, but then you might find something you really love. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  26. Be open-minded. Read books and magazines and newspapers and web sites. (And not just the ones you already agree with or like.) Listen to other people’s opinions. You don’t have to welcome every new idea with open arms; just be willing to change and grow. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  27. Be positive. Life is short. Don’t waste time complaining. If you can do something about a problem, do it. Otherwise, get on with life and forget it. Route your negative energy in a positive direction. If you hate something, fine, but don’t make it your career. (From Action Girl’s Guide to Living.)
  28. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Who cares if your shirt isn’t ironed? If you forgot to mail the phone bill? If you can’t remember someone’s name? Take it easy. It’s not that important.
  29. Ask for it. You’ll never get it if you don’t ask. And you might be surprised at what you can get just by being bold.
  30. Slow and steady wins the race. The most successful folks are those who work longest and hardest at things they love to do. So try to find ways to make frugality fun, and recognize that you’re in this for the long haul. You’re making a lifestyle change, not looking for a quick fix.
  31. The perfect is the enemy of the good. Too many people never get started toward their goals because they don’t know that the “best” first step is. Don’t worry about getting things exactly right — just choose a good option and do something to get started.
  32. Failure is okay. Everyone makes mistakes. Don’t let one slip-up drag you down. One key difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is the ability to recover from a setback and keep marching toward a goal. Use failures to learn what not to do next time. “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” — Japanese proverb
  33. You can have (or do) anything you want — but you can’t have (or do) everything you want. Being smart with money — or with time — isn’t about giving up your plasma TV or your daily latte. It’s about setting priorities and managing expectations, about conscious living. Focus on the things that matter most to you and ignore everything else.
  34. You don’t need permission. When we’re young, we wait for our parents and our teachers to say it’s okay to do the things we want to do. As an adult, you don’t need permission from anyone else. Do you want to quit your job and travel the world? Do it. Do you want to learn how to ride a motorcycle? Do it. Don’t wait for somebody to give you the go-ahead. You are the only one who needs to give yourself permission to do these things.
  35. Action beats inaction. It’s easy to put things off, but the sooner you start moving toward your goals, the easier they’ll be to reach. It’s better to start with small steps today than to wait for that someday when you’ll be able to make great strides. Get moving.
  36. Along similar lines, it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you do. Live a life of action, not words. “Action is character.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald.
  37. Look for connections. Share your interests and experiences with people you meet. You don’t need to force your story on others. But learn to strike up conversations with people you meet. Ask them about their lives. They’ll ask you about yours. In Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferrazzi notes this is a great way to form connections you might otherwise miss. In this way, you may sometimes turn a random encounter into a possible “lucky break”. (Occasionally you will be a source of luck for the people you meet, just as they will sometimes be a source of luck for you.)
  38. Keep your options open. Goals are good. But single-minded devotion to a goal can often blind a person to other opportunities. And it’s a mistake to cling to one path out of a sense of obligation. If you enter law school and discover you hate it, quit. Don’t endure years of misery because you feel it’s expected of you. You have more options than you think, but you may need to open your eyes to see them.
  39. Be empathetic — think like the other person. Remember that people are all the same. We each have the same fears and the same desires. Underneath, most folks are pretty nice. Instead of fighting with others are hating them because they’re different, try to get a feel for their story, their point of view. “You never really know a man until you stand in his shoes and walk around in them.” — Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird.
  40. Do the right thing. If you do what’s right, and you do it well, what do you care what other people think? Successful people will always have critics. Learn from the critics or to ignore them, but don’t let them bring you down. Do the right thing, and confidently own the consequences.
  41. Don’t compare yourself to others. I’ll tell you a secret. There are a lot of personal finance blogs out there. I don’t get to read them as often as I used to, but I do try to make the rounds once every week. Sometimes when I do this, I feel like giving up. I feel like quitting. I lose confidence. “I can’t write that well,” I think. “I can’t cover retirement investing as well as Jim did.” Comparing myself to others is counter-productive. It only makes me feel inadequate. Who cares what other people write, or how well? What’s important is simply producing the best work I can. All I can be is myself.
  42. Be yourself. This is by far the most important thing I’ve learned about life. For so long, I tried to please other people, tried to be and do the things I thought they wanted me to be and do. That just made me unhappy. And most of the time, it didn’t please anyone. I’ve had enough of that. Instead of trying to be somebody else, I’m just me. I’m honest about who I am and what I want. Sure, that means some of my old friends don’t like who I’ve become. That’s okay. I’ve made new friends who do like who I am. But the best part is that I like who I am.
  43. “Everybody is talented, original and has something important to say.” — Barbara Ueland, If You Want to Write.

Mornings in Central Park

On March 1st, it will be exactly 5 months since I abruptly packed up my belongings in San Francisco and moved to the Big Apple. (It will also be my birthday, but more on that later.) Settling into my new surroundings has been exciting and adventurous, and re-acclimating to the city culture that I was raised in has been an interesting experience. Oh, and remembering what “cold” is — that’s been rather interesting as well!

On my morning walk to work today, it suddenly occurred to me — it won’t always be cold in New York. Obvious enough, right? Well, after having lived in California for the past six years, I’ve grown accustomed to having only one season: perpetual summer. When I moved to NYC, I arrived with the expectation of snow and sleet and rain, and although it’s actually been a lovely winter this year (apparently), it’s still been between 20 – 40 degrees every day. But not this morning.

I got a bit of a late start today (probably because I was laughing my ass off at the Comic Strip until about midnight last night). I showered, poured a cup of French drip, and put on an episode of the Simpsons to listen to as I got ready (fun fact: it was “Bart of Darkness” — such a classic). At 8:30am (about an hour later than usual), I wrapped my scarf, grabbed my leather gloves and headed out for the 3.2 mile walk to my office in Bryant Park. As I stepped out of my building, it became immediately clear that I would NOT need my gloves and scarf this morning. As I unwrapped myself from my winter essentials, I watched the sun glittering on the East River for a minute, soaking in the warm sun rays and just imagining how amazing my walk will be in a month or so, when it’s consistently lovely.

Looking forward to saying good-bye to winter wear!

When I first started walking to work back in November, I would try to go as far down 1st avenue as I could, because generally speaking, the further “in” on Manhattan you go, the busier and more crowded it gets. I’d usually get to the 59th street skycars and then start zig-zagging over to 5th ave. There’s actually a concept called “Manhattan Geometry,” because Manhattan is the only place in the world where you will walk exactly the same amount of mileage regardless of route. For instance, I will always walk exactly 3.2 miles to work no matter which streets or avenues I take. So I used to walk with the lights, figuring it was quickest. Well, that may be true, but about as month ago, I realized that I could walk through Central Park every morning if I just went straight over on 79th. Since that revelation, my morning walk has become indispensable. And now that it’s getting warmer, I have only more to look forward to!

Central Park in the morning light

I feel so grateful that I can walk to work in such a beautiful park in such an amazing city. And although I get urges to live in pretty much every neighborhood I visit here, I’m starting to think I’ll never be able to live downtown, because that will mean I won’t be able to enjoy Central Park as often! I’m looking forward to spring (and then summer!) with renewed excitement!

#Rewind2011

I remember telling myself that 2011 would be my best year yet last January 1st, and I’m looking toward 2012 with the same optimism and enthusiasm! 2010 had been a rather placid year for me, and I was ready for some action. Here are my 2011 monthly highlights:

January: Social uprising hits home — literally — as friends and family are evacuated from my hometown of el Ma’adi, Egypt. On a more positive note, I obtained a certificate in Practical Product Management from Pragmatic Marketing, Inc., and launched the Mindjet Developer Network website, as well as revamped the Developer Program. My efforts led to a 300%+ increase in membership and the development of over 15 new software add-ins.

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February: Flew out to DC to interview with a “deal-of-the-day” website giant, and ended up turning down their offer. Sometimes even when the money and the role are right, the company culture just feels wrong. In the end, I’m very glad I didn’t take the position.

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March: What can I say? March is always awesome because it’s my birthday month! This year was especially special because I drove down to Pasadena to celebrate my pal LM’s bridal shower.

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April: Drove down to LA with my BF to pick up his two best friends, and then onto Vegas for some gamblin’ and the Hoover Dam for some history to make for an epic birthday trip! [Sorry, no Vegas pics allowed! ;)]

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May: Ran Bay2Breakers and attended LM’s absolutely amazing wedding. Definitely one of the major highlights of the year.

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June: Two major product launches in one month — you can believe I hadn’t slept for at least a month. Version 1.0 of Mindjet for iOS launched on the 14th, and MindManager for Mac launched on the 23rd!

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July: Smat’s goodbye party as they head off to Germany.

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August: Traveled to the Big Apple for an interview; spent a couple of weeks exploring New England with the BF and reacquainting myself with the Atlantic.

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September: Accepted a new job in a new city; resigned for the second time in my life.

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October: Moved to NYC on the 2nd, and managed to find, sign for, and move into my new apartment on the Upper East Side within 6 days. That was intense (and quite possibly some kind of record). I also founded the very first ProductCamp San Francisco, an annual educational and networking unconference for local product management and marketing professionals, on 10/22.

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November & December: A few visits from friends and family in the area, and a LOT of exploring in my new city!

  


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I hope you all had just as epic of a story to tell for #Rewind2011! If not, there’s always 2012 to make up for it.